Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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