my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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