Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
