I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize