i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
