that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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