just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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