"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
