The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
