Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
