I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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