Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
