Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
