Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
