remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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