i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
its liver damage thursday
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
