Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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