so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
