This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
