The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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