Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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