Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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