At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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