Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
