I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize