i just had sex bonerless
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize