It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
