Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
