your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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