everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We are two peas in an std pod
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
