You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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