just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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