He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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