i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
