im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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