he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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