Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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