How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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