so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think my mom watched the whole time
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
