I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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