Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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