READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
