We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize