There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
