He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
