Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
