Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
