...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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