Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
