My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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