I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
