yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
