porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
