You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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