i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
