it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
