i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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