eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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