Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
