Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
