you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
