we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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