WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
