Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
