Pappa wants mamma naked
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
