What a fucking waste of an outfit
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Randomize
