"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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