We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize