i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
