there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
