Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
