Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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