how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
