they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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