either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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