i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
